Last Days as Children

we're growing old..

2011-03-30T15:36:00.000+08:00

A long hiatus. Pretty sure my few followers have stopped checking already. Hehh. Just a short observation. We're growing older we are. No more spontanious activities, no more drinking nights, or drinking parties for that matter. Meh. I blame Kaskade for making me nostalgia. :p

one year ago..

2010-07-25T02:33:00.000+08:00

A year ago, I set out on the biggest adventure of my 21 years of life. I decided to fly off over 700km to go try live on my own. That was singlehandedly the best and worst experience of my life ever. Stuck in a foreign land, loneliness started to creep in. Along with the harsh reality of having to fend for yourself. Meals, laundry, groceries, finances all had to be taken care of. Admittedly, I did have the time of my life there with friends, but the highlight came in October when family decided to pay me a little visit.

Truth be told, I was the least bit excited. I had to play tour guide, manage accomodation, manage food, manage logistics. Looking back, my selfishness might have ruined a great holiday. Guess I was lucky that everything went ok :) admittedly, I was being difficult. I shall make ammends. I shall

footballl!

2010-07-20T23:44:00.002+08:00

ah... took to the pitch on a tuesday night again. nostalgia as you recall the days as a student where my mum used to drop me off and pick me up afterwards as i couldn't drive. heh.

how times have changed eh? :) especially awesome when you've enjoyed the game with good friends :D yay football!! was wearing the Dutch jersey today, but didn't play too much of a Sneijder role.. more of a de Jong instead (no, no studs in people's chest :p) all in all great fun!

twit

2010-07-07T22:08:00.001+08:00

dang! half the year gone and only 4 posts? slacking slacking! refer to my twitter instead if you have a burning desire to know what's happening in my life :D life's easier with twitter. twit!

England Trolls!!

2010-06-24T12:20:00.000+08:00

Ah.. so England have qualified to the final round of 16.. this is in a group which has England, Algeria, Slovenia and the Yanks.. yeah. And it took them the final day of the group stages to qualify too. Heartbroken I was.. and we were so so so close to seeing England not making the 16. Which would cue knee jerk reaction -> Capello fired. Lovely. I always thought England were the most overhyped, and overestimated teams. Reasons

#1. They cannot tackle. Their league encourages rugby tackles! Whatssat? Your leg went flying? Get up and don’t be a wuss son!

#2. Route 1 football. Keepers JD. Hoof ball up. Heskey to chest down. Rooney/Defoe/any Englishman to tap in

#3. With route 1 brings the lack of flair or decent passing. What passing is there to be done when all you need is to bring the ball down from your keeper?

#4. ‘English Stars’ which one of the ‘English stars’ in the BPL don’t have a foreign kick ass player making them look good? Lets see.. Rio –Vidic, JT-Cech + Ricardo, Stevie G-Masch and previously Xavi Alonso, Rooney-Valencia, Lamps-Essien, Mikel, Ballack, Milner-Petrov, Defoe-Modoric, the list goes on.

True, under Capello the team is much more organized and disciplined. Still, they’re a long long long way from winning the WC. As pointed out by the commentator, Milner, Rooney and Walcott have a realistic chance of making it into the next 2014 WC. What then? Headless Theo running on the right flank then?

wishlist

2010-06-02T11:30:00.004+08:00

i would like to tag a certain Nellie Tan please :D

wishlist for 2010. need to get them ALL!

new walkabout lens. edited to a Canon 17-40 L or a 24-105 L
~~a starter airbrush kit~~ GET!!!
20" of lcd. prob rm300
battery grip and battery +- rm 250-260?
brand spanking new dutch jersey. i want one, i want! *hint hint* GET!!!

and that's it. lets not be too greedy ehh? :D

p/s. will be updated from time to time :D

as i walked home..

2010-03-30T23:03:00.002+08:00

oh.. a hiatus. and a long one at that. heh. stuff has been piling up, starting work, lotsa stuff to catch up on, therefore, neglecting any posts :D oh excuses! :D

anyways, had the rare chance to stare at the rain, looking at people go through the usual hustle bustle of their lives at rush hour as time stood still for myself. i was caught in the rain without an umbrella, so i had to wait it out. heh. but it was a good reflection.

as i stood watching people go through the routine of their lives, it makes you think. routine. and how people fear or dislike change. we all prefer to go down the road most commonly taken don't we? that's why we dress similarly, always have the same hair, eat at the same old places, and take the exact same routes to work/school. routine. aren't we all a slave to it. we fear what we don't know, and refuse the uncertain. maybe that's why we're all so afraid of death innit? isn't that why we eat healthy, exercise often and avoid stimulants and drugs. we all just wanna prolong our own pretty little lives.

as the rain eased up, i chanced it and soldiered on in the rain bravely! :D only to almost slip on the wet grass and meet a unsightly demise of having my brains splattered on persiaran tujuan :D definitely not a good way to go eh? but that's the difference between living another day and not. all it takes is a slip, another person's lack of sense to not get a designated driver, or even your own for thinking 'no i'm not drunk'. because you'll never know when your last day will be.

on that note, think of how easy it is to lose the people you love. your parents, siblings or boy/girlfriend. and think of this when you have a fight. and say 'i don't need you' or 'i wish you'd go away' or 'i don't want/need you to care about me' or 'i'll do this by myself without you'. be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

playgrounds

2010-02-03T03:01:00.002+08:00

strange.. its a weird feeling i have now. right in the middle of being really shitty and really content. something like if i don't wake up tomorrow, i'd have both the biggest regrets and the most satisfaction all at the same time. but no, not satisfaction because i have regrets :P

feeling strangely... morbid.. but not pissed/sad/angry at anything. in fact perfectly content. maybe curious. but nothing negative. oh idle mind.

maybe i've not used it for far too long. sitting here day in day out. looping the same old songs. doing the same old things. cannot wait to be challenged again. i need a break of these monotonous days. i need something to look forward to. i need something new.

ah. found the word for what i'm feeling now. restless. the idle mind is indeed the devil's playground. and He is damn happy now :)

no right arm

2009-12-27T02:20:00.001+08:00

right arm gone after bloody rock climbing. me without my right arm is like being armless. i'm completely right sided- both foot and arm :S looks like my left side is only for show and balance.. heh. bad right brain! bad

honey, there's something wrong with our culture

2009-12-26T02:30:00.002+08:00

i'm back after an almost 2 month long hiatus, so let's get back to my pet topic shall we? bitching about something i can't change. at least not yet. heh. our lovely culture. namely, the culture of never telling our kids that they've done well, or admitting that their kid did good.

hands up if your parents have told their (which makes it your) relatives that you just did 'ok' lah, or how you're 'not' thaaaaaat good a student. typical conversation will go

'wah! your son/daughter soooo smart ah? got 7As'

and the typical reply..

'nolahhhh'

seriously, what the fuck? don't we have a little pride in our kid's achievements? they slog for days and weeks (some months *snigger*) and all they get when an aunt comes along is a NOLAH?! come fucking on! is it THAT hard to say 'yup, he/she did good'? we're in a culture of fucking contradictions. case in point.

rule #1: we must ALWAYS keep face

that's why every year we buy new car, paint house, renovate house, carry LV bag (even if its AAA grade) always must be biggest, and best

rule #2: we never tell our kids they did good or we're proud of them

so, when someone say 'wah! so smart' we say 'nolahh'

see? contradiction. you're defacing your kid. how's that keeping face anymore?

i mean, ffs, if your kid got straight As or is a fucking med school student or is doing their fucking phd under full scholarship-that's gotta mean he/she's brilliant innit? so why say no? who the hell are you kidding? maybe the 20something year old may get that its all part of our sick wisted culture of never saying good job.. but how will the 9 year old take it? 'i got all 25As and mummy still didn't say i'm smart' how fucked up will his mind be?

is it that hard to for once give your kid a pat on their back, tell them good job and praise them? give them a sense of accomplishment. positively reinforce them. give them a sense of pride for a job well done. sometimes, modesty isn't the way to go. kids need to feel good too.

how come all the praises we heaped onto babies and infants suddenly disappeared as soon as one enters school? think about it. when was the last time your parents told you 'good job'. do we even know how to react anymore when they say this. if they ever did?

linger

2009-11-02T12:31:00.002+08:00

just in a blink of an eye, the dream week came and went. it was tiring, sometimes annoying, and maybe frustrating, but i loved every single second of it. for one week, i didn't have to go anywhere by myself. for one week, i had someone beside me. for one week, i had someone to share my life with. i miss already. your smell still lingers..

mythology

2009-10-18T12:43:00.002+08:00

torn between Scylla and Charybdis. heard of this before? it comes from Greek mythology, famously mentioned from Jason and the Argonauts. speaks of how one is caught between two dangers and moving away from one would bring you closer to another :S

Sail too close to Scylla and get munched by her, but sail too close to Charybdis and get drowned. lovely decision to make innit? :D

words could not be more true for now :D

choices..

2009-10-11T20:44:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden, i miss everyone. i wanna go back soon, but i also know the next month here will be awesome. decisions, decisions. hahha

but then again..

2009-09-25T22:10:00.002+08:00

the mind's clouded with so many things i wanna say, but i just can't put them to words. its been a bizarre time here in Aussie. sometimes, i think my time here's too short, and how i'd love to spend more time here. it just seems like there's so much to do here. heh. hunting, skiing, beaches and stuff. friends, freedom, fun.

but then.. sometimes you're here and you miss so many important events back home. friends' birthdays and celebrations. or even simpler things like a weekly kickabout. bah. as much as i like it here now, i wish i could just fly back just for this one weekend. =/ wish i was back home now with you.. but then again..

pick me up

2009-09-24T07:18:00.003+08:00

life works in mysterious ways :) this lil pick me up was what i found waiting for me after an almost-sale

cool?

2009-09-20T22:51:00.000+08:00

it'd be cool to have a Lonely Planet for Australia..

orly? hahahah =3

quick update

2009-09-14T07:47:00.002+08:00

what a week! phew! went to Mildura, which was a 6 hour drive away from Melbourne, reached back on Sat morning at 6am :O and went to the city later that evening. which was good fun and nice weekend :D

went to Crown. hahah.lost about 40 dollars there =/ but.. oh well.. then went for dimsum yesterday morning at the really famous shark fin house. expensive weekend eh? :O but was all good le..

back to work today in Melbourne and i've got a few countdowns going on. 3more weeks till i quit, 1 week till my bro comes over, and about 6 weeks till Nell comes down :D i think its also gonna be another 5 before mum comes, so i've got lots to look forward to in Oct :D

99 problems

2009-08-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

work... is strange. sometimes it really seems easy. sometimes i really think it sucks. big time. when you hit 6 a day, then its all great. but when you hit a rough week.. and end up on an average of 2 a day.. then what? suddenly, a base wage seems so much better.

money might come easy, but it depends on alot doesn't it? i actually am considering looking for other work. we'll just see how the next two weeks go. sigh. sometimes, i really like the job, but when you're walking all alone in the dark, at about 7pm when people are all having their dinner, you know you're getting it when you knock on people's doors wanting to sell them electricity. you know people are gonna curse and shout at you.but you still have to. especially when you're running on a zero or one.

but when its good, its all good. you're on a roll, you feel great about yourself.... only to be brought down to a crash the next day with a big fat zero. that pretty much sums up my week. one crazy great day.. and the rest all ones. been a rough week for myself. not felt that well, sales not been that good. suddenly you ask questions of yourself.

a lil update

2009-08-08T21:48:00.002+08:00

a lil update on 8-8 :D

went for some field footy today after such a long time. it certainly was fun.. but only after 10 minutes, i found myself gasping for air. must be the cold air here which i'm not used to. heh. played ok i guess. 3 assists :D heh. kinda losing my touch tho. need to play more then ><

found a job on friday, doing what i expected to do the least. door to door sales :O gonna start selling power come monday. guess that's not too bad.. get to travel the suburbs of Victoria.. :D guess its all in line with me wanting to visit Melbourne innit? :D

been cold these two days here. can't stand it anymore. the new room's been real nice and warm. so not much complaints there. a bit quiet. not complaining anymore.. least i have privacy eh? ;) going to the bathroom's a bitch tho. hahah. since i have to brave the cold to get there. can't wait for winter to end!! hehe. only 2 weeks in and already complaining :D lil bro's back from Finland, and gonna come back to Aussie soon. great stuff. :D he's been gone for 6 weeks already, and i've sold me soul to door to door for 8. great stuff. i'm starting to talk like an Aussie. shit.

alone

2009-08-05T22:28:00.002+08:00

time alone is a strange thing. when you don't have any, its all you crave. but when you're all alone, with nobody around you, then you start feeling lonely. i feel lonely now. :(

suppose the thing which kept me goin for the past week and a half were the friends. constant story telling and bullshitting, having each other's company. made me think that 19 weeks are not that long after all.. after about an hour of living alone, its not that great after all :( i miss them. i miss the people at home. i miss..

5 days in

2009-07-31T00:15:00.002+08:00

g'day mate! in Aussieland now.. its colder than i thought. sucks. but other that that, things are moving along fine here.

went for a movie abit earlier. public enemies. pretty decent movie, but the cineplexes here are quite abit bigger than what we have at home. lots of leg room and a much bigger screen.excellent stuff. :D life here's pretty mundane. getting along pretty well with the new housemates i suppose. still feel abit akward and shy around the house. they're nice people tho. days are spent sleeping. noons job hunting and then after dinner its a bit of gaming before going to sleep. the girlfirend reckons i game too much.. but when you're here there's nothing much to do which doesn't require money, so gaming it is. heh

speaking of which, i've managed to get myself a job interview tomorrow. jobs here get snapped up pretty fast. one day old ads online are already filled up. efficency here is much better than that back home. kinda lucky to get a job interview :0

went to look at one yesterday which wasn't too far from home actually.. pity it was already filled, but i kinda enjoyed the walk there. wasn't too far.. weather was not too cold.. unlike today. rained.

worry abit about my accomodation. might have to find a backup plan if i can't stay with bryan' he's moving out, and i might not be able to bunk with him.. =/ bummer. that's why finding a job was so immportant. sigh. its not easy. miss home terribly. guess i'll have to make do and hope for the best eh? wish me luck for the interview later :D

leaving on a jet plane

2009-07-24T23:23:00.002+08:00

the ice cream boy is no more. he's flying to aussieland in about 14 hour's time. scared, anxious, exciting all at the same time. just so many what if's start coming up now. what if i can't find work? what if i forgot to bring anything.. gosh..

irony

2009-07-22T01:59:00.001+08:00

its ironic that i've only started to notice this song right now. run by snow patrol. and oddly, it seems like such an appropriate time that i come to notice this song. heh

"Run"

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

shoot me :D

2009-07-12T13:23:00.001+08:00

ice cream boy wants to take photos! his poor 450's left lying in the cupboard! ice cream boy also wants a Canon 50mm f/1.8 please :D

wanna shoot something abdly.. hand itchy! :D

31!

2009-07-03T20:16:00.003+08:00

allltighty! 3rd day as 31 boy and its been not too bad.. work comes thick and fast when it does, and when it doesn't, there's really not much to do at all.. well, can't complain.

anyway, what have i learnt? well, most people who buy 31 are rich!! imagine, i just saw a secondary school kid. prob in form1 or 2, with a coach purse :O

next, most of the people who buy 31 are females. be it young, middle aged or old, they all LOVE ice cream. hahah. and mostly, its mothers who bring their kids for a scoop or two =) its real nice to see. heh. reminds you of your kiddy days where your own mum brings you ou for ice cream as a treat for being a good kid 0=)

yes, i have been good before last time =p

reckon i'll be sick of 31 after this month, yes, we do have 31 flavors in our freezers, and there's more in the stores, we just don't reveal them =p

worksies

2009-07-01T14:05:00.003+08:00

gonna report to work in a few minutes time. gonna see what 31 is made of after all. and fulfill a lifelong dream! try all the flavors of 31!! :O

imma useful member of society economically now :D

delay?

2009-06-26T00:26:00.001+08:00

hmm.. seems like i'm underprepared. looks like a delay is in the cards. well, goes to show the typical effort i put into planning stuff.. sheesh. wake up call. time to whip everything into shape

approved

2009-06-16T12:08:00.002+08:00

visa's been approved :D yay! it all seems so real now, after such long procrestination and delaying. heh. gonna teach wombats to sing 'Glory Glory Man Utd' now :D

:))

2009-06-11T03:44:00.002+08:00

would die happy now :)

cos good things are made of great memories

2009-06-11T03:24:00.002+08:00

as much as the title doesn't make sense, it does for me. especially when you're reading back at older blog posts, be it your own or friends'. then, thru these older posting, you learn a little more about them through these little windows of their life which they allow you to peek into. the good, the bad, and the ugly.

the things they write about also.. shows change from who they were to what they are now. who you used to know them as; be it more free spirited or living life with a certain air of bravado. how they were more up to anything as opposed to a more reserved individual now. happyness, disappointments, acheivements, failures, heartbreaks and love. the more emo times. rants and musings.

then of course, you find certain links to behaviour today. stuff which you could have forgotten about yourself or them. or maybe even explanations as to why certain things happen, and how old habits normally die hard.

read back at your older posts, you'll see what i mean. much has changed, our writing style, our content, and thoughts. have we progressed since? have we taken a step backward? have we grown stronger from our rants or have we conceeded defeat to them and decided to live with the obstacles which once pissed us off? read and remember back the times, what we used to do and how we no longer do them. friends we have forgotten, love lost and times forgotten.

it'd be a shame to froget them. they are after all our history. bits that have made us who we are. cos good things are made of great memories :)

update desu

2009-06-09T02:50:00.004+08:00

ages since my last post saying anything half decent regarding my life, so i guess one's long overdue innit?
since a week ago, i've gotten locked outside my car, attended my chio boss' wedding and watched a hellofa crap movie! so its updates, rants and melts. what's not to like eh? ;)

first things first. locked outta the car. was on the way to pick me dad and bro from the airport after their one week long vacation to aussieland (which i will be going to by the end of this month or early next i hope). got the day wrong for starters, and only noticed that when airasia sent me a text regarding the flight delay, so pulled over at the rest stop, and made a phone call, only to realize the car temperature was high way up high. so panicked a little, popped the hood, got out of the car, and accidentally locked myself outside, no thanks to auto locking doors which lock once the door's shut. drats. so had to call the plus ronda who pried my door open for no charge at all :D fast forward a few days, dad goes :you know someone tried to steal the car? uhhh.. that would be me. hehe.

next next! chio boss got married over the weekend and i was there! yup, the little intern who could. :D chio boss looked extra super damn even more chio den usual ok? droooooooools. but married edi now. sads! :'( aiyah. wish her and her husband (who is kinda good looking himself) all the best and happiness :D

finally, typing this after watching confessions of a shopaholic. man that movie sucked. period. for odd reasons, maybe the women can relate to the movie, i couldn't and the dresses were..well.. not pretty. especially the most ganjiong one (bridesmaid dress) <--spoiler it was friggin colorful. who in their right un-stoned mind wears that shit? ugh. waste of 40 minutes. blekkk.. Zack and Miri make a porno was decent tho :O haha.

six-six (dot) six!

2009-06-03T14:44:00.002+08:00

speaking of 666-es, i found out today that i owe the girlfriend 66.6 dollars. coincidence? :O

666!

2009-05-27T01:01:00.001+08:00

spotted on jamtank today. a 666 Epi SG! made on 6th June 1996! should I? 1.5k :O

level up

2009-05-20T11:31:00.005+08:00

without knowing it, my skills have improved so much. heheh!! kembang aku! :D

grrr. why?

2009-05-20T02:08:00.001+08:00

lamenting the lack of a singing voice as well as the inability to sing and play the guitar ><

well, least it goes together eh? so people will only know i can't play the guitar well. else, they'll know both skills also koyak ><

lessons

2009-05-15T02:01:00.000+08:00

lesson of the day: Curb your enthusiasm

what rap is

2009-05-09T23:24:00.004+08:00

T.I sings in deaad and gone

'you reply then shit get blown'

my brother asks- why you wanna blow shit up?

blowing shit up according to me. so plant dynamite into shit, and *BOOM!*

one more thing to add onto rap topics- from money, ho-s, weed, me, getting shot, and myself to ney, ho-s, weed, me, getting shot, myself AND exploding faeces

Redang

2009-05-06T19:56:00.003+08:00

its hot! my shoulders that is. hehe. just back from Redang, and that place is bloody addictive. DEFINATELY planing another trip in the near future!! :D

must remmeber to apply sunblock on shoulders. its stings like a bitch now. aloe vera seems to be my best friend for now... and cool showers. aaaah

btw, started a pic a day thing. its here - http://www.photoblog.com/waynshaun

remind me when i don't upload a photo :D

irony

2009-05-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

irony. i sleep when i'm pissed, but when i'm woken, cannot fall back asleep. strange eh? all the dissatisfaction boils over and i end up looping thoughts over and over in my head. why else am i typing this post then?

i really must learn to silent my phone when 'sleeping angry' heh.

unemployment

2009-04-21T20:13:00.001+08:00

oh my! less than 48 hours to go and i'll be unemployed... prospect of being unemployed happies me.. for now that is :D

i <3 my camera

2009-04-14T16:44:00.003+08:00

depth of field! woot!

i try

2009-04-09T00:50:00.002+08:00

it sucks to see people unhappy. more so if you care about them alot. even more so when you're unable to help them out of their rut. regardless if they're 5km or 5,000km away from you. its sad to see how quiet birthdays have been. and you you'd like to do more. but can't. not yet at least. i feel sorry for not being able to do more for people i care about. helpless. its sad. and yet, two days later i can go back to ebing so indifferent to these very same people i'm talking about now.

its high time for a change of attitude. and i am trying. trying seems to be the keyword here.

set!

2009-03-31T21:38:00.002+08:00

procrastinated for long enuff. i'm going to aussie once my visas are all sorted out. hopefully sometime around May. i'm done sticking around in this rut.

1st step tomorrow. renew passport and get the appropriate forms. okay!

grrr

2009-03-31T18:29:00.001+08:00

grrrr. stay away from me now. i'll bite

the coolest hello ever

2009-03-24T21:36:00.002+08:00

Hello, according to Naomi is...

8t 598 5906 -65 ]6

6 7 7m7ukuululluluu[uo uo uouu

"?
"?

well, my dear girl,

8t 598 5906 -65 ]6

6 7 7m7ukuululluluu[uo uo uouu

"?
"?

back to you! =)

water

2009-03-06T01:28:00.003+08:00

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.

Bruce Lee

in the famous words of Bruce Lee, i too shall learn to be like water, and make my way through without the need to be assertive. i will tolerate

C'est la vie

2009-03-06T01:09:00.002+08:00

C'est la vie. the ups and downs, good and bads, happys and unhappys. problems to be ironed out, moments to share. i would like to keep my faith. i know it will come good. but who really knows? they say always look on the bright side of life. and so i will.. will you?

choice

2009-03-02T23:11:00.002+08:00

so we choose.. to be happy or unhappy, to be competent or incompetent, who we befrend, and who to be in a team. will our decisions come back to haunt us? maybe. sometimes. will you learn from your mistakes? maybe sometimes. hopefully, you learn more often than not.

else, you make the same choice, and get the same response, and then wonder.. where did i go wrong this time?

when you realize your mistake, you try and make appropriate adjustments, hoping to be better. its easier said than done isn't it? but when you are learning a new skill, sometimes, you just gotta suck it in and bear with it. people laught, make fun and try to put you down. they say you're incompetent, and don't wanna be seen with you, but you grit your teeth. you choose to improve yourself, and proove your doubters wrong. you choose to bear the pain, the sacrifice and effort. you push yourself and strive. pain, they say is temporary, pride is forever. so with that in mind, push on. proove the others wrong. proove the doubter wrong. if you weren't chosen, earn it. earn your stripes. choose. choose to learn your lessons and strive forward. take rejection as your biggest motivator. don't look back and scorn at other people's choices. its their choice to make. make your own choice. move forward and don't look back.

when your muscles hurt from the training, your head feels light and you feel like puking, continue. it is true what people say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. so what if you were not chosen? show them you deserve to be picked the next time. get picked by merit, not by compassion. you owe it to yourself. the satisfaction is priceless.

i expect...

2009-02-23T01:17:00.002+08:00

maybe its better not to have any and remain happy, then have some, and be bogged down by them making everyone unhappy=/

i think i'm going through a moody phase. or a sensitive phase. or seperation anxiety. how did a life so simple become so complicated as a certain mode of transport moved away? growing pains? i don;t wanna grow up. never did. now more so than ever. i wish it was easier.

i really do wish i wasn't bogged down by expectations. i don't want them anymore. take them away please? will a week's valium before sleep take this away?

lost

2009-02-15T03:34:00.002+08:00

Newton said that ever action has an equal and opposite reaction. not quite right. especially on the equal and opposite part. or at least for some things in life..
maybe that's why i choose to sit in front of my screen, typing this out. choosing not to sleep as i know it will rob me of this frustration i feel right now. for some odd reason, i want to keep this one. i dunno.

?

2009-02-05T00:30:00.002+08:00

Beckham headed to AC? Finally. He deserves a club on par with his abilities, not a club where he's mainly a shirt seller where every Yank buys a LA GAlaxy shirt no23 with BECKHAM on it. bleh!

i feel very drained. very bleh. very =/. sometimes i wish i didn't know some things. sometimes i wish i was my pet on pet society, living in solitude, so i can ignore things going round around me. blehhhh. i do not like =/

1up

2009-02-01T21:44:00.001+08:00

1up +1 <3

and so.. it has come

2009-01-03T22:15:00.001+08:00

for what it's worth,i think today passed by a little too quickly =/

then again, they say that people who cry the hardest during funerals is because they have regrets. maybe i am guilty of that..

leaving on a jet plane

2009-01-01T22:51:00.002+08:00

We never really appreciate what we have until its gone. When they're here, you wonder when can I finally be alone? Just leave me alone. Now that they're about to leave, you wish the days were longer, and that you could spend just that few more hours with them.

I guess we never really know what we have going for us until we lose them. The little things we take for granted on a daily basis, we now realize that there will be nobody to pick up our slack for us. Even something so simple like marketing will be different. I guess to go for a month or so is different from coming back a month or so per year eh? Heh.

All the same, i do not look forward to the next few days. I'd like to think that we managed to 'buy' a month's time, but...

looking forward

2008-12-26T20:56:00.003+08:00

as i watch family pack their bags, ready to leave for another country, i can't help but wonder, while sadness, and dread may come, how do they feel? how does it feel to leave all your family and friends behind, fly a few thousand miles and start life there?

where you are a stranger, with no friends, no family, not knowing who you can trust. all at the same time, with the prospect of seeing the world, learning new things, meeting new people. how would you feel? happy? excited? sad? anxious? i wonder.

how can something so fun, so exciting, seem so scary all at the same time? i wish that day would never come. but that's being selfish isn't it? still, i wish it would never come. that the day before would always stay as the day before. two months ago, i dreaded December. now, i dread January. i think its one too many goodbyes in too short a period of time. i hate the departure hall of airports. especially when you're there to see people off.

i don't want the new year to come anymore.

of nots

2008-12-20T03:55:00.002+08:00

i cannot...
fall asleep even tho it was a bloody long day today
wait for Monday and Tuesday. sounds fun
decide between the EOS 1000D or 450D
hold back time and avoid the coming Saturday =(
avoid the 6th of Jan either
help but think that he is a unnecessary distraction sometimes, more of a hindrance to you more than anything.
wait for Bentong later =)

truth behind proverbs

2008-12-18T20:47:00.001+08:00

the pen is mightier than the sword.
i know the full extend of how much more powerful now. it hurts

foresight?

2008-12-06T22:58:00.002+08:00

i feel weird. like something terrible is gonna happen soon. like a sick feeling in my stomach. wonder what the something unpleasant is gonna be.. not a good time to be feeling like this. especially with finals and thesis defense coming up. somehow, its not been a very nice week. don't see things getting better either. bleh. today, the glass is half filled with cyanide-laced piss.

wait. correction. the glass is broken and half empty with cyanide laced piss. and i'm dead thirsty.

erm...

2008-12-02T02:32:00.002+08:00

for what its worth, i think people think i'm good cos i package myself well.
translation: people see what i want them to see. all good and clean with a nice nice mask on =)
not all that great sometimes. you tend to be taken for granted.

t minus 2

2008-11-29T23:28:00.001+08:00

well well well.. 2 days before my thesis is due and i'm 90% complete. safe for some grammar and polishing. let's hope this is a good one. any grammar virtuoso wanna help me out? :D

teh piktars post! omg 1337!!!!11

2008-11-25T02:02:00.006+08:00

hmm.. let's see. as promised, Blooddrunk! \m/

canggih smiley. =)

Bodom xD

Cd cover =)))))))))))))))

oh oh oh! i also finally got myself new futsal shoes =)))))

ta daaaaa! Nike tiempos! FINALLY. waited 2 years for this color. almost missed the chance again =))))

oh oh oh. finally

at the risk of looking stoned. this was fun! xD

man the harpoons!

2008-11-19T02:34:00.005+08:00

you're back! now.. its time...
no wait
nope. wrong one too.
that's about right.. its been too long. whale population in Malaysia has increased by too much. time to do something about it pb... you know the drill. :D

the green kid that is me

2008-11-18T01:16:00.002+08:00

in the past 30 min or so, i've been made to feel like the biggest kid in the world. and not in the 'i've gone to Disneyland' kind of kiddy feeling. its the green you-know-nothing kind of kid. not the best feeling to have. what's worse is that a lack of knowledge coupled with an ability to spin false and inaccurate stories = crap spewing from your mouth. not exactly useful

in the past 30 minutes, i've been made to feel like the coldest ass around, not giving support to someone who is clearly unhappy with what they're doing. in trying to manouver the unhappiness, they try turning left, but somehow, i keep telling them 'go straight and run head onto your problem.' not anyway useful. and not in anyway supportive in the change of direction either.

that's the problem innit? for people who know how to manouver the problem, they'd give good sound useful advice. they speak from knowledge, from experience, and with the good intention to share such knowledge and experiences.

yours truely on the other hand. has ZERO knowledge, and even less experience in the matter. but can still sprout crap and stories based on imagination and one sided observations (namely from tv series). the intention is good (i think) but execution is poor. of course, as good an noble intentions are and can be, giving crap infor can be dangerous, and so therefore, i urge you to not take to heart anything i just said.

maybe its best to not say anything until i have myself, experienced the problem, and can speak from experience and knowledge in the field. but wait. in avoiding the issue, and the problem, i'm gonna come off as unsupportive. i wouldn't want to be that would i? so, decisions decisions.

bullshit or be perceived as unsupportive?

there is no win-win for me is there?
beautiful life i lead :)

if you knew

2008-11-12T23:57:00.002+08:00

its my redemption
its my final chance to do something like that ever again
its gonna be the last time i'll ever see many faces. even familiar ones
it definitely means a lot to me

if you ever knew how much it means to me, would you still give me the reply you gave me?
if anything, i just want redemption. redemption for the shit that i did way back in august. shit that people smiled at and said it was good even tho not too deep down inside they KNEW it was shit. shit that looks good in photos but the video begs to be hidden in the deepest darkest bookshelf.

if you knew this, would you still give me the answer you did? if anything, i wanna put up a show. for you. it may damn well be the last time.

if you knew this, would you still give me the same reply?

life life life

2008-11-11T01:21:00.002+08:00

I finally got my Blooddrunk! :D paid about 70 bux for it. now got myself an ORIGINAL copy and a glass to boot! woohoo! pics to come. no srsly. this time for real wan :D

watched 10 promises to my dog today. after god knows how long from staying away from the cinemas. think wall-e long time ago long. nice move, sweet and makes you wanna get a dog. heh. the wonders of camera angle i tell you. makes keeping a pet so fun and lovable. ignores the part where it digs up your lawn, sheds like no tomorrow and barks and howls at night just to 'entertain' you. oh let's not forget the shitting and peeing all over the place ya? :D

on a much brighter note, i'm almost done wif all my assignments. just 2 more reflections to write and the baby which is my thesis. its been growing the past few weeks, and pretty soon, its gonna be all grown up and ready to leave home to be scrutinized by others. and like any parent, i'm gonna take the fall for any shortcomings. wonders of parenthood! i don't think i'm gonna enjoy it..and i'm not even a parent yet -_-

7 more days till Mr Ku is home! and i somehow or another got dragged to go 'swimming' past Sunday. i know. its a bloody miracle i'm even typing this. heh.

btw, i kinda know how peter pan feels. my symphaties with you, boy who never wants to grow up. also, learnt that IF you're gonna die, a dog would be a good substitute to your mom/dad/siblings (if they still want you)/boyfriend/grilfriend/wife/husband =D
think about it!

bloody hell!

2008-11-05T01:49:00.002+08:00

bloody fucking hell! he's just EVERYWHERE! even in my blog! Barrack has appeared in place of Domo-kun! see for yourself. just excellent ==

muuuzicks

2008-11-05T01:31:00.001+08:00

i have NEVER wanted a CD as bad as this one. anyone knows how to get this one? ;)

dreams

2008-11-03T00:41:00.001+08:00

all i want now.. is to lie on my bed with nothing to do. on a rainy morning with explosions playing in the background. knowing that i have nothing to wake up to and can spend the whole gloomy day lying and lazing in bed doing absolutely NOTHING. bliss i tell you. aaaaaaaaaah~

battle of wits

2008-10-29T23:24:00.002+08:00

so... who would eventually win?
the lazy genius or the hardworking dropout?
verdict?

soon to be past

2008-10-24T23:57:00.002+08:00

living out my last few minutes as a 'teen.' a few minutes before it disappears and becomes something you only think fondly of in the years to come. and fond memories they will be.
the day has progressed quite nicely from a normal one to an increasingly better one. all clowds do have silver linings after all.

its a great indication for the year to come. i can feel it.

as the curtains prepare to fall

2008-10-20T12:29:00.002+08:00

they say as you reach the end of your life, yo start to look back, and think back on the things you've done and accomplished in life. some feel ood, happy, or proud, knowing that they have led a life worth living, taught someone something, and in some way, significant or insignificantly, have brought upon change onto the world. with this in mind, they leave, happily, knowing they had live a live well spent.

others look back, and find themselves remembering failure after failure. they remember all the times they needed someone to bail them out, and how much trouble they had caused people. the thicker skins would still leave happily. they don't give a damn anyway. the thinner would feel like they have wasted their life. despair sets in, and they would most probably leave this world unhappy that they have had little, no or a negative impact in this world.

the words or Erik Eriksson integrity vs despair

ladies and gentlemen, i am close to the end too...

end of my 19th year of life. and as the author looks back..only one thing goes thru his mind

=D

yup. it's been an excellent year. lots of new stuff learnt, new experiences experienced, places went, people met. i earned my 1st ever 4 figure paycheck this year, got drunk and cursed everyone around me. and then another one about 500km away from me. hehe.
i think its been a great 19th year, and i can't wait for my 20th! i'm gonna grad then! woohoooo!

lessons in life

2008-10-19T02:48:00.003+08:00

one year ago, Nellie couldn't eat donuts from j.co without the chocolate inside spilling onto her and the floor.

one year later... guess what? she still can't!!!!
i know, i always say 'pics or it did not happen' right?
so, here is the all mighty incriminating evidence!!
see the HUUUUUUGE drop of chocolate on the table? ngyek ngyek ngyek

tagged =.=

2008-10-17T10:55:00.002+08:00

bloody...joa...*grumbles*

Start time: 10.55am, 17 October 2008
Name: Wayn Shaun
Sisters: nil
Brothers: 2
Shoe size: 8ish
Height:tall enough
Where do you live: subang
Favourite drinks: anything sweet
Favourite breakfast: sausages with bacon and eggs :D

Have you ever
Been on a plane? Yes
Swam in the ocean: nope. splashed around in the sea tho
Fallen asleep at school: maaaaaaaaaybe
Fell off your chair: yesh ><
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: nope
Saved emails? yeah

What is your room like: dusty.
What’s right beside you: shelves of books
What is the last thing you ate: dinner =p

Ever had
Chicken pox: yesh
Sore throat: also yup
Stitches: nope
Broken nose: nope

Do you
Believe in love at first sight: no
Like picnics: if its not too hot. and i dun have to do anything, why not? :D

Who was, were
The last person you danced with: O.o… that would be john tooo!
Last person who made you smile: myself? counts? ingenue then :D
You last yelled at: forgot

Today did you:
Talk to someone you like: only virtually ><
Kissed anyone: not yet ;)
Get sick: nope
Miss someone: ask me later today
Eat: not yet. hungry!!

Best feeling in the world: taking a piss
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: erm.. maybe
What’s under your bed: dust
Who do you really hate: hmm.. hate is a strong word (i agreee!!)

Time is it now?: 11.01am

Random:
Is there a person who is on your mind now: maybe
Do you have any siblings: didn't you ask this already? pay attn when people talking to you!
Do you want children: depends
Do you smile often: don't keep track
Do you like your hand-writing: rarely

Are your toe nails painted: nope
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: ngyek ngyek. if u gotta ask, u dunno
What color shirt are you wearing now: none
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: dinners :D
When did you cry last: dun recall

Are you a friendly person: sometimes. when the mood strikes
Do you have any pets: some fishes
Where is the person you have feelings for right now? don't know
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now: yes! lots!
Do you sleep with the TV on?: yes
Have you ever crawled through a window?: yes!! :D
Can you handle the truth?: yup
Are you too forgiving?: sometimes

Are you closer to your mother or father?: mum.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: dun remember
How many people can you say you’ve really loved?: family members..and then one ;)
Do you eat healthy?: i really do try
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: nope
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: nope

If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: the bed
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: I would think quiet
Are you confident?: if i'm sure of something

3 things I was doing 10 years ago: wearing uniform, going to primary school, studying hard
snacks I enjoy: junk foods :D
3 of my bad habits: stubborn, lazy, lazy
3 places I have lived in: subang subang subang :D

4 people I tag: nyahahahaha! Nellie, can't think of any more, so Nellie do it 4 times :D

phrophecy

2008-10-10T15:24:00.002+08:00

Epi SG Prophecy!! Want yet don't want. lets list em out. serious GAS here!

:D
its an SG!
24 Frets
choice of either dirty fingers pickups or EMGs!
its damn bloody good looking innit?

:(
epi necks are huge and chunky. hated the feel
made in China! (might contain melamine)
price tag! 1kUSD omgbbqhax

price tag already has determined all for me. no GAS!

thanks for reading! :D

river flows in me too!

2008-10-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

emo sial. never knew piano could be so damn bloody emo. enjoy guys

River Flows In You - Yiruma

its comingggg

2008-10-06T18:42:00.002+08:00

its imminent. my DSLR is comming. just the minor headache of which one. a complete entry level? or a higher mid-end one? mid end will most certainly allow for more progress in the future =)
lets see.. Nikon d80 vs Canon EOS 450D
Nikon.. longer zoom lens, but a tad more expensive, and no live view. but feels good in my hands :D
Canon.. stock 18-55 kit lens, a lil cheaper, but has live view. have no idea what it feels like in my hands yet.

really torn.. i looove Canons.. but for some reason, really leaning towards the Nikon, even if the d80's relatively older. How how how?

EOS 450D <3

Nikon d80

anyone has any opinions? :D

think

2008-10-06T00:08:00.002+08:00

think boy! THINK!!!! always do that before opening that blabbermouth of yours!! think goddammit! havn't you learn your own bloody lesson by now?!?! you need to think it through BEFORE saying it. not bloody after!!! how many bloody fucking times do you need such a reminder? bloody stupid boy who never learns from his mistakes

qoute of today

2008-10-03T23:38:00.001+08:00

well, since you requested me o blog more, miss Chin, here's one specially for you :D
its one to remember :D

"baby feet Joa!"

p/s: i'm so proud of myself for always coming up with quotes of wisdom :D

qoutes of wisdom

2008-10-03T00:22:00.001+08:00

quote of the day

"super ~~cool, smart, funny, understanding, great sense of humor, poor spelling, all round dnice guy, multi-linguistic, nice~~ smelling~~, attractive~~ boyfriend"

Unknown, 2008

plans

2008-10-01T21:52:00.000+08:00

is not looking forward to December.

fall for you

2008-09-30T01:08:00.002+08:00

completely addicted to this song at the moment.. Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade.
fall for you (acoustic) - secondhand serenade

Because tonight will be the night

That I will fall for you over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

with lyrics like these.. what's not to like? :D

BPL! :D

2008-09-29T15:16:00.002+08:00

was discussing wif my brother yesterday, naming all the 'older' players at Arsenal who were regular starters. and could only name a couple. wow. just when i thought United were in safe hands for the future. bah. not like Arsenal's gonna win anything anytime soon anyways. heheheh

anyways. football this season is weird.. Spurs, for one is doing shit despite having a couple of good summer buys. granted, Keane and Berba are no longer there, but they've got Bentley, and Plau-wtficannotspellhisname-chenko.. missed out on Ashavin, but they look largely reinforced. still bottom of the table, and the best part. Ramos' job is on the line? well..Spurs have been making poor starts but always manage to bounce back. the exact opposite for Asrenal. flying starts, then the season crumbles. always. hehehe

as for United.. difficult start, but things are only gonna get better. i mean.. Newcastle, Pompey, Liverpoo and Chelski to start the season? that's hard by any standards. and no Ron to boot! we'll be back on the summit. mark my words :D

shaddap boy!

2008-09-28T14:19:00.000+08:00

don't complain boy. don't whine. you brought this upon yourself.

gaaaaaaah!

2008-09-28T00:01:00.002+08:00

annoyedddddd!!!!

annoyed that my bloody connection made me miss yet ANOTHER match. seriously. have NOT been able to watch a single match at home since the start of the season. irritating!! whilst i'm at it. am really frustrated by the recent string of results by united as well. the past four matches, won only ONE! drew two and lost one. one loss and draw after we took the lead early on. sheesh!!! Bah!

next up. damn bloody annoyed that i let something so small and unimportant upset me yet again. by now i should bloody be used to it. but somehow, its easier said than done. sigh =(

i'm backs!

2008-09-20T11:39:00.002+08:00

i'm back! after 1 week of my pc down, i'm back online. culprit was my busted graphics card. three burst capacitors. oh well.. least i got a new replacement! :D pics to come later

oh, btw, chrome is funnn :D its like having a mini google on your address bar:D

cover page stuff!

2008-09-07T15:06:00.002+08:00

now tell me, how can this not be on the cover of Babies Today Oct08?

wha? there's no such thing as Babies Today? well, they should have it to accomodate that pic!

7 weeks in pictures :D

2008-09-05T01:02:00.003+08:00

an update one week late is still an update. so...

am finally done wif my internship/work. this perhaps draws the curtain for my headhunting 'career'.. but never say never, you never know what the winds bring about in the future right? headhunters make BIG money :D

figured a all text block would be boring so here are some pictures to brighten up your day. pictures do say a thousand words right? so, pictures during the entire 7 week period :D

waking up at 6 something everyday sure as hell sucks. but with scenery like this, it makes it all more bearable eh?

this one taken in toilet. kekeke

then there's the scenery that makes end of the days better

rainbow after work. prettyyyy

then..how can you mention BTI without the mention of food?

home made brownies!

ice cream!

jam! (Nellie's)

jelly!

egg tart!

jelly! (again, yes)

fondue!

my workspace

first few days

last few days

notice the difference? no? well, my screen's more colourful towards the end! all the colors are hard work ok? and Paul Frank too! how can i forget him? :D

also not forgetting my office mates that help me so much!

trusty phone

trusty mug

kah-leh-feh glasses (to be used when people steal my pretty pink mug)

pens and mouse

last but definately not least, these helped me out the most! trusty pen and paper!

disappointed? what were you expecting? me to show you pics of my chio ex-boss? puhleeseeee. ask me personally if u want pics ;)

it went....bad

2008-08-24T12:28:00.002+08:00

so.. a little more on our crap performance last night.

we were actually invited to play, Wayne and I. had a time limit of about 15 minutes, so we decided to play 3 songs. this was actually all very last minute, and even the playlist was decided on Monday. the songs we played were tears in heaven by Eric Clapton, angels by Robbie Williams, and best i ever had by Vertical Horizon.

its interesting to note that we played the songs in that order, and the songs are all in descending order of difficulty. anyways, were supposed to be at college at 230 for soundcheck, but wayne missed his bus, delaying us. figures. the bus service sucks so bad, you miss one bus and you're delayed a good half hour. bah.

anyways, we pushed soundcheck back to 315, and rushed to college only to find that there were others soundchecking. by the time they were done, it was already time for the programs to begin, so Sim told us that there would be another chance to soundcheck at 6. ok. so we now had close to 3 hours to kill. running around barefooted, we walked all the way to the other end of the block to rehearse. by the end of rehersals, i was feeling pretty good, and was confident we would pull of a good show. we went for food after that. bad move, as i felt so full, i thought i was gonna puke. 6pm came, and once again, they were delayed. we finally only got to soundcheck at 630, and was still feeling pretty confident. we were supposed to perform at 750-ish.

the crowd we played for were noisy. they would scream to anything. last night was the first time i brought Ingenue to a gig, and quite frankly think it will be the last. for someone who does not know how to do eq, bringing an electric guitar to gig is a very bad move i think. tone wise, tears in heaven was a friggin mess! tone was too sharp, and i was frantically trying to kill all tone. turned the tone know down to zero- no effect. i later only noticed that my pickup selector was set to middle- to accomodate for later strumming, where i would want a brighter sound. dumbass. well, i guess our performace was poor to say the least. i wasn't as scared shitless as before, but i suppose the lak of practice was apparent. slides did not go as they were supposed to, and chord progressions i could not remember. it was especially bad when i was the sole guitarist for the chorus. everything which could have gone wrong for the music did, including technical errors.

sigh. i was actually looking forward to last night's performace, as always, but i would never never NEVER imagin myself to do so badly. worst thing was that everybody would still look and say 'good job.' i thought we were far from good. most honest thing i heard form an audience was 'what happened?'

now, that's honesty for you. dead smack in your face.

Update 1

2008-08-24T01:50:00.002+08:00

bleh. i hate waiting. i hate waiting when i'm sleepy even more. is greatful for my Mayalr XBi's as well as Children of Bodom for Something Wild. it is one of the angriest albums i have ever heard. its also the one thing that helps me go thru periods of geram-ness. its keeping me sane for now. just gonna loop the whole thing over and over till the time comes.

few things off my mind

2008-08-24T00:37:00.002+08:00

right. had another gig in front of 500 screaming kids again tonight. this was without doubt the biggest, noisiest, most receptive crowd i've ever play in front of, and we were a downright mess! everything from progressions, to tone was off. i think it really was a sub standard performance by the both of us. why did this happen? weel, if i were to offer an excuse, i would say the lack of practice really hurt us. for the next one, i'm practicing thill the song starts flowing out of my ears!

next agenda of the day. relay races. i find it odd that the relay races this time round are littered by blotched baton passing. team USA had BOTH their relay teams dq-ed cos they dropped their baton, and Jamaica missed out on gold die to sloppy passing. geez. its the Olympics for God's sake! practice la! hmm. feel like a hypocrite saying that. heh

onto the last aganed. what the fuck is up with swearing these days? Saiful's swearing, anjaib's swearing. what? is that some sort of miracle 'yes i am telling the truth statement?'
pffffffffftttt

coming soon

2008-08-21T19:55:00.002+08:00

Saturday
23rd August 2008
7.30 pm
30 hour famine
3 songs
2 performers
Wayne
Shaun

we're finally performing again! can't wait. its a rush like no other. the excitement, fear and joy of being on stage. i certainly missed it

of thoughts and feelings

2008-08-16T21:27:00.002+08:00

i feel...
confused
bloated and full
that i need sleep
and a shower
that sleep is the answer to all your problems, both physical and psychological
like for some reason, i think i'm unhappy

really don't know if i should stop trying or try harder.

the day he forgot

2008-08-13T22:26:00.002+08:00

i noticed something on my way to work today. i had left my ipod in my mum's car! HORROR!! for the rest of the day, i felt so...alone..so....naked. i need my music. i think it keeps me sane while at work. that along with gmail :)

batman!

2008-08-04T21:27:00.004+08:00

http://www.virtualtoychest.com/k/kennerbatman/kennerbatman.html
was looking thru this site, and feelings of nostalgia came running back. looking at the pictures of the toys, i could clearly remember myslef at Parkson, looking and browsing through the toys, wanting them so so so badly, but never quite got them. granted, i did get a few figures, but coming from a school where all the kids got what they wanted, i felt a little left out. i remember spending so much time in the toy's section, looking, wishing that i could just buy them all.

heck, i remember when i was back in std5, where i actually got one action figure and one bat plane. i really really really felt happy. remember how it was during my finals period then, and my mum would not allow me to open them. can remember how i used to imagine playing with the toys instead of studying, staring at the contents of the box. it was like all my wishes had come thru. i was the happiest kid in the world. i had finally owned something my friends have too. i finally had something to bring to when children's day came. i remember putting cello tape on top of my stickers to 'preserve' them, to ensure that they would not fall off. not bad for a 9 year old kid eh? till today, the stickers are still there.

looking back, my parents never really spoilt me with toys and all. they had spent their money sending me to a private school, and in hindsight, i suppose a good education is much much more valuable than having to buy your kid toys. even if it means that your kid would not bring any toys to school cos he felt ashamed of them. 10 years later, he'll look back, and one day thank you. i suppose i don't thank my parents enough. so, even though you'll never read this, a big thank you goes out to the both of you for bringing me up so well. i look at other kids, and cannot imagine myself being that way. you guys did good i think. thank you. i really don't say this enough.

I <3 Ingenue

2008-08-03T18:18:00.005+08:00

Keira reincarnated. i name her

Ingenue.
welcome to the family.

note to self

2008-08-03T00:27:00.004+08:00

Dear me:

i thought you had already learnt your lesson last year? waking up every morning at 6. staring at the computer for the following 8 hours or so. travelling to and fro about 4 hours daily. i thought you did not find that fun? i would have expected you to learn from your experiences. i expected better of you. now you go bitching again. well, here's a big fat I TOLD YOU SO. would you like it packed to go? people offer you money only your eyes go big big and you say yes without thinking much. die loh. people offer you 500 dollars take you and sell also can loh.
next time, think think first. imagine what you could be doing instead of staring at that damn screen for 8 hours a day. how much better for your mental health would that be? much much better right? the what if's and what could be-s. i guess now that you've made a commitment, you damn well better stick to it. later they sue your ass eh. its 12 edi. go sleep la. later you complain not nuff rest summor. good night

monkey!

2008-07-31T20:47:00.000+08:00

oh nothing..just another random picture..

idonothaveahugecrushonpetewentz

i love the bus =)

2008-07-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

its been what? aabout two months since the rise of fuel prices. people have complained, and the government have implimented ways to 'cut costs.' they introduced a 'subsidy plan' for cars under 2,000cc to get reimbursement. an interesting idea, no doubt catered to lower income families which will no doubt be burdened by increasing fuel prices.
but wait. what about that Cooper S which is under 2,000cc but worth close to 200k? or that 520i? 2,000cc and worth a whooooooooooooole lot more that a 2,000cc proton. fair? what about that family van which ferries 7 people but has an engine capacity of 3,500cc. poor things. not only do they not get 'reimbursement,' fuel is gonna cost ALOT.
so.. is the subsidy a good idea after all? does it really cater to those in a lower income group? how else can we help then? gee wiz..what's simple.
IMPROVE YOUR FUCKING PUBLIC SERVICE
i swear i waited 40 minutes for a fucking bus that NEVER showed today. just when i thought the bus service was improving. improving my ass. public transport here's a fucking joke. and everybody knows it.

wants and desires

2008-07-20T22:06:00.003+08:00

for some reason or another, i suddenly feel like listening to Wayne sing again. i suddenly wanna get back on stage and perform again. i suddenly wanna feel the udder fear, excitement and fun of being the center of the hall's attention, and how everybody will know when you play one note out of place. and how after your performance, you get off the stage shaking, hands all cold, but at the same time wondering- when's the next time i'm gonna do this? its one heck of a feeling.
not touched the guitar much since Keira left. somehow or another, the mood's not there. i really want a replacement quickly. i miss you.
its sunday night again. will be going to bed pretty soon. gotta wake up at 645-ish to get ready for work. i really don't know what to make of work anymore. yes, it is fun to get home everyday with nothing to worry about for two months. all the tim in the work to do everything you want! but get home, and you'll feel too drained to do anything. in many ways, i guess being a student has so many more perks. much more freedom to do pretty much anything you want. heck! sleep at 4am and wake up at 8 for a 10am class is ok. get home and sleep at 1 by all means. guess you can't do the same at work.. didn't i learn this lesson last year? hmm..some people never learn eh? well, this kinda life's gonna be inevitable i suppose.
heck, i actually think last year was better. i had two monkeys and partners in crime. both of whom i miss very much. speaking of monkeys...

I WANT A MONKEY!! will be expecting one next week thank you very much! better take note of this hor? :D

and don't tell me you didn't know. i've been leaving obivous hints all over the place! :D
monkey! monkey! monkey!

what the fuck?

2008-07-14T23:54:00.002+08:00

Malaysia's public transport is made of shit. pure utter RUBBISH! what's the use of building fucking kl Sentral if you cannot keep trains on time? and anyone wants to guess how much a taxi ride from sentral to Midvalley costs? 18 fucking dollars! what the fuck?! and 18 was the cheapest mind you. i had two other quotes of 30 and 20 dollars. the excuse? its very jam la. well you know what? fucking lies!! i took the bus, and apart from the stops caused by traffic lights, there was NO jam! 30? your taxi running on what? your blood ah? bloody hell. if there's one thing we need, its not lower fuel rpices, its better public transport.
i mean, think about it. IF we had decent public transport, most of us wouldn't bitch about the fuel prices. we'd just take public transport. instead, my beloved country offers shitty public transport service, and a relatively high fuel price.
take today for example. i waited about 25 minutes for the train, and still no sight of it. a announcement later came that the fucking thing was still in kepong. excellent!! that means it would take another..what? 20 minutes to reach sentral. by which time, passangers would have been waiting for over 40 minutes, which means THREE passanger loads. coupled with an already full train coming into the station. HOW TO FUCKING FIT THEM ALL?! its rush hour, mind you.
bah. at least there was some kindness at the end of the day.. an old man paid for my bus fare, when i was going around looking for change. what a nice man. they don't make them like they used to anymore. =) hope you had a nice day sir.

ps. quote of the day: absence makes the heart grow fonder =)